Application for the Position of Biblical Evangelist*

Mark Rubinstein

Pen name: Matthew
Current address: Unknown
Proposed title of Gospel: None

Given name: Unknown
Mother and father: Unknown
Will you be signing or dating your Gospel? No


Acknowledged sources: Hebrew Bible

Will the events described be modified to fit with the prophecies of the Hebrew Bible? Of course

Is there any positive physical evidence for your Gospel? No

Do you mention any of the letters of Paul written twenty to thirty years ago? No

Percentage of Gospel based on eyewitness testimony: 0

Where did the people you talked with find out about Jesus? From other people

And where did they find out about Jesus? From other people

Extent of plagiarism: Most of proposed Gospel (copied from Gospel of Mark)


How many miracles will you be reporting? Over thirty

Will your miracles be fashionable for their day? Yes, particularly healing by exorcism

Will anyone in your Gospel admit the smallest doubt that any of its miracles could be fraudulent? No

Do you explain why other earlier Christian sources, such as the letters of Paul, do not include miracles? No


Are the lessons of your Gospel (A) clear, or (B) unclear, sufficient to fuel centuries of controversy and bloodshed? B

Will there be any indication that you have been influenced by Greek philosophy, methods of reporting true history, or the best science? No

Will your Gospel contain prophecies that within a few decades, or even at the time of their publication, can be seen to be false? Yes

In significant ways, will your Gospel be logically and factually inconsistent with the writings of other evangelists? Yes

How many copies will you be printing? Sorry, printers haven’t been invented yet

Do you have any other qualifications you would like to mention? No


Mark Rubinstein

Mark Rubinstein is a retired professor of finance who taught at the University of California at Berkeley. He now writes on early Christianity and humanism.

A scrap from the dawn of the New Testament. Um, not really.

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