The Lazy God’s Guide to Miracles

Steve Cuno

Today’s gods are lazy. And it’s our fault.

Back in the day, gods established their bona fides by staging spectacular miracles. Lotuses sprouted from the baby Buddha’s footsteps. Zeus hurled thunderbolts, reversed Earth’s rotation, and turned infants into adults. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob parted the Red Sea, split the moon, and, millennia before the United States Congress made it commonplace, gave speech to an ass.

Thrilling audiences with large-scale miracles was a matter of routine. Entertainment value aside, the show of power helped keep the faithful faithful. Wise gods understood that with too much time between miracles, followers might go “a-whoring after other gods,” as Yahweh, who liked sexual metaphors, was fond of putting it.

This article is available to subscribers only.
Subscribe now or log in to read this article.