Category: Cuno’s Corner
Godawful Communication and Divine Boners
God, if you’re reading this, a word of advice: Hire an editor. By now even you must be aware that most of the time your followers haven’t a clue what you’re talking about. I wish I had a full collection plate for every time I have heard the likes of “… and then I realized …
On the Proper Use of the M-Word
I live in the Salt Lake City metropolitan area. As some of you may be aware, more than a few Mormons live here, too. Thanks to this unique religious demographic— Oops. My bad. I meant to say that more than a few members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints live here. These …
A Not-Perfect Defense
Gadzooks. A shocking revelation just took down another politician. Nearby and on the same day, another cleric was busted, too. I shall withhold their names, not for legal reasons or discretion’s sake but because I’m writing weeks before they will have been caught and therefore don’t know who they will turn out to be. Still, …
The Lazy God’s Guide to Miracles
Today’s gods are lazy. And it’s our fault. Back in the day, gods established their bona fides by staging spectacular miracles. Lotuses sprouted from the baby Buddha’s footsteps. Zeus hurled thunderbolts, reversed Earth’s rotation, and turned infants into adults. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob parted the Red Sea, split the moon, and, millennia …
Rules for Playing the Race Card
Not long ago, a champion of humanity set me straight. Someone in our monochromatic, melanin-deficient lunch gathering had mentioned race, and before I could think better of it I had naively blurted something about racism not being a good thing. The above-referenced champion politely pointed out my error. The real problem, he explained, is that …
Jesus vs. Santa: The Evidence Speaks
I bristled when I overheard a friend place the evidence for Jesus and Santa on a par. I felt it was patently unfair to Santa. Don’t get me wrong. I am no fan of Christmas. For all I care, the likes of Santa, Jesus, decorations, and Paul McCartney’s “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” can …
Persecution Envy
There are places where belief in the wrong or in no deity is a capital offense, a fact that makes decent people recoil in horror and, when they can, take action.1 But in places like the United States of America, where killing someone for not accepting the right religion remains illegal,2 it would seem that …
Drawing Lines for Fun and Prophet: How Religion Makes Us Behave Better
I am told religion makes people behave better. I do not dispute it. When religion draws a line and slaps a thou shalt not sticker on it, believers mind the old Ps and Qs. This came dramatically to my attention over lunch with Brad, whom I hadn’t seen in years and whose name isn’t really Brad, as …